post #70

tonight I will be boarding a flight back to Hometown for Sister's wedding.

tomorrow night, Mr. REA will be boarding a flight to Hometown for Sister's wedding.

tomorrow night, Mr. REA will meet my family.

tomorrow night, I will over-drink.

tomorrow night, I will be staying in a hotel with Mr. REA.

tomorrow night, history may repeat itself.


let the games begin.

game day

I went to my Alma Mater's football game and spent the majority of each quarter wondering one of the two following thoughts:

a. where are the cute boys at?

b. what food am i going to eat next?

i love sports. 

toilet trouble

so remember that time i clogged the sink with my barf after a long night of drinking?

the next afternoon, just as i was thinking there was nothing left in me, i clogged the toilet with something else.

because Mr. REA was out of town, i let the trouble fester. i thought the mess would just sort-itself-out.

very lady-like, i know.

and, well, it didn't.

on Monday i broke down and called a plumber.
it's what i refer to as a low point.

the lady on the line asked me if i wanted to talk to my landlord first.

no, no. please. i'll just pay you. don't call him. i'm embarrassed.

her response: oh sweetie, no need to be embarrassed. it's not your fault the pipes are jammed.

cha right. little does she know.
oh yes ma'am. yes it is absolutely my fault. just send over your best guy.

$189 to plunge a toilet.

i'm going to go broke if i keep playing this little game.

ugh.

still waiting

hi guys.
i'm one month & 8 days into being 25.

all i have to show for myself is a label maker and Nike workout clothes.

and i'm still waiting for puberty to hit so my boobs will start growing and my acne will clear out.
about how long is that process supposed to take?
i've been waiting for about 10 years now.

good things come to those who wait.


right?

Q & A

Q. What do you get for the man in your life who has nicer things than you do?

A. An ice cream cake and a blow job.

Happy Birthday, Mr. REA.