well friends. I believe that I've reached what they refer to as a new low.
there is something very humbling about waking up next to your Date, staring straight into his gorgeous blue eyes and having him ask:
Want to hear a funny story?
note: this is never a safe question after a long night of drinking.
I proceeded with caution.
Yes.
I usually forget how classy I am until someone reminds me the next morning...
it would appear, according to The Date, that the following events occurred:
- I was completely drunk in front of two of my former teachers.
- I told the same Elevator Story, to the same people, each and every time I entered the elevator.
- The Date helped me undress.
- The Date helped me put on my pajamas.
- The Date tucked me into bed.
- The Date didn't even try to get fresh with me. or maybe he did. I was what they refer to as, blacked out.
one hour after I'm tucked in...
I scoot myself off the bed.
The Date asks if I'm going to barf.
I say no.
I remove my pants.
I walk into the corner.
I stand next to the bed.
I face the wall.
The Date hears water splashing.
The Date asks: did you barf?
no.
The Date asks: did you pee?
noooo...
The Date, now my Adult Babysitter, gets up to find out I have lied to him.
friends, I peed.
on the floor.
in the corner.
standing up.
with no pants on.
I redefined the term Hot Mess.
The Date took me to the bathroom.
sat me on the toilet.
wiped off my legs.
put my pants back on me.
walked me back to bed.
and tucked me in.
some of the pee-pee splattered on my shoes.
The Reds.
oh, and the fish died overnight.
remind me never to reproduce.
