Via Instant Messaging:
OnlinePredator2: you look familiar
oh shit.
OnlinePredator2: maybe ive seen you at a party or sumthin
(you should find this bit hilarious, like I've ever been invited to a party.)
Me: haha, yah maybe.
OnlinePredator2: where do you live?
(the online-types are always curious to know my location.)
Me: near The Park.
OnlinePredator2: whats your cell?
Me: thats not something im comfortable giving out online, sorry
OnlinePredator2: what do you think will happen? lighten up.
a. you will tap my phone line
b. you will trace my number to my exact location
c. you will run my license plate number
d. you will show up at my place of work
e. you will break into my garage
f. you will judge my web browser cookies
g. you'll hack my instagram account
h. you'll realize I look nothing like my profile pictures
i. you'll flirt with my friends
j. you'll sleep with my friends
k. you'll friend C$ on facebook
l. you'll judge my coffee consumption
m. you'll text me. ugh.
n. I'm paranoid. the list goes on.
OnlinePredator2: i wouldn't imagine the demand is high enough to warrant alarm
Me: excuse me?
OnlinePredator2 has signed off.
go to hell, you online predator.
